BEFORE I self-destruct

Everyday I fight these demons, the voices inside get louder and I can't take it no more! You see a broken girl, but i'm just trynna piece her together. Too many people trying to live my life, too many voices trying to speak for me. Will you ever know the real me, the one that's in the back of it all thinking "what has become of me?". Will I just forever be another character residing in this body. I'm a troubled child that needs you to see the pain behind the smile. I'm a strong woman that needs you to understand the story behind these scars. I need you to know that i'm just trying to find the me that got lost along the way (Namataa), when the innocence was lost, when my life was endangered and I had to man up to survive through it. Why am I so hard on myself? Cos there is no room for the weak in this wicked world. I'm just trying to understand the life I was given and maybe I will figure out my purpose in it all. I cry from inside but them tears never fall, the kinda hurt I can't describe but the pain never shows. It's sad to know that you take a hard look at me but you'll never even begin to understand what goes on in this head. You sympathize with me, but you don't feel the burden I carry. I don't need your fucking sympathy, wipe that pity off your face.

These Foolish Games

Miss Get It If I Want I It

Haven't blogged in a minute, *sigh*, I guess judgement day has come for me, the day everybody felt they're entitled to an opinion about me. When suddenly everybody felt they knew my life story just cos of a few misinterpreted lines, tweets and sh*t & nobody bothered to ask me what I was onto, not even for a comment? Dang!!!

I'm Sorry, I Cant Change For You

"Bella Harris"

To Whom It May Concern:

I am sorry that I am not the perfect little friend you wanted me to be, i'm selfish and you came into my life a  little bit too late for me to care about your feelings. I wish I felt bad for not caring that much, I would've probably cared if you hadn't tried to blame me for what happened 'cause when it melts down to it, it wasn't on me or you but the other person.

How Did I Get Here - Regrets!!!

I miss me, when did I become this weak? 
How did I become a girl that needs to be needed? 
When did I start to care? 
When did I start putting other people's needs first before mine? 
Why am I fighting so hard?
Is this even my war to fight?
When did I start seeking people's recognition?
What happened to me just being me even without other people's approval?
Is this what I have become?
Is this the life that I chose to live?
Surrounded by fake people that constantly judge me?
When did I start feeling like I gotta keep pleasing people that don't even a fuck about me?
Is this what I really wanna be?
What happened to me?
How did I lose myself, where did I go? 
Where is the me that I used to know?
I WANT HER BACK!!!

DONT WAIT TILL I'M GONE

DONT WAIT TILL I'M GONE

I dont kno why people ONLY show this love when a person is dead that they never show when a person's still alive. When I die, dont post shit on my wall, just go on with yo lives as you've always done (esp if you've NEVER posted on my wall before), inbox me if you are so sure that I will see it. All im sayin is, DONT WAIT TILL I'M GONE to show me love, else dont fake the concern when I die.

10 Reasons Why I Hate My Bootycall!!

"Bella Harris"

10 Reasons Why I Hate You:

10. You don't appreciate me and my effort of being the best  I can be for YOU.
9. You are blinded by the fame, you can't separate the real from the fake...you got me misunderstood, my intentions are good! I hate you for thinking I need you cos of your fame.
8. I hate you for all the times you made me feel good, too good, when it was just all fun and games.
7. I hate you for not being able to see that I've begun to really like you.
6. I hate you for not letting me go cos then I can't move on when I can still access your body. If you hated me it'd be much easier for me to hate you.

Introducing The Alter-Egos

Meet Bella Harris the go-getter a.k.a Miss-Get-It-if-I-Want-It

Meet Denise Harris the Doppelganger-the bad bitch

And then meet L3 the Combination of Both